the most important thing I can tell you today.

The ultimate summer drink... take the best part of a mojito and a gin-and-tonic, take away the shitty aspects (mint in your teeth, sweetness that makes your teeth ache), and add a splash of sexy. This drink tastes like summer, and in winter, it tastes like a picture of the tropics looks, if that makes any sense. And thus, I present,

Innapropriately Hot foreign Wife's Caiperinha (pronounced 'kai-per een yah'

1 pint glass or a martini mixer
sugar (fine, granulated, it doesn't matter)
water
ice
lime
Cachaca (pronounced 'ka sha sa', available at any decent liquor store, especially in MA, FL, NJ and NY). Cachaca is a finely-distilled rum-like spirit made from cane sugar. Bad cachaca tastes like good tequila. Good cachaca tastes like sexy time. Expect to pay $20-30 for a good bottle.

1) Rinse and slice your lime. Throw the slices in the pint glass.
2) crush the living hell out of the slices with a pestle, potato masher, or whatever you've got. I mean it, you want to beat the balls off this lime if you can. Add 2 generous heaping tablespoons of the sugar and grind the mix up a little with the pestle or what have you.
3) add enough cachaca to make the pint glass 60-70% full.
4) add ice, just enough to make the mix ice cold.
5) fill the glass to 90% with water.
6) stir or mix up. Serves two, or one, if you're not driving.
WARNING: your capacity aside, one full glass of Caiperinha is enough to put a 200 lb man close to the legal limit for driving.

7). Beware. This is the reason why Brazil stops and takes a week to party before every Easter, and why the maternity ward is full 9 months later.

You're welcome. You're about to try the best mixed drink you've ever tried.