I'm home again, for the day

 Wow, crazy week.  I flew to Brazil on Tuesday, and flew home on Saturday, arriving just now, Sunday morning. My wife and son are dead asleep, as they couldn't sleep on the plane, and we never slept more than 4-5 hours a day the whole time we were in Brazil.  We buried my mother-in-law on Wednesday, and it was an all-day affair, 24 hours, a vigil from sundown on Tuesday to sundown on Wednesday. 

           How to explain? Brazilian funerals, at least the Indio ones, are emotionally exhausting, and cathartic as well, moreso than I've experienced here in the US.  Deeply moving, dignified, beautiful in a way ours are not, in that many more of the old world traditions are still upheld. The traditional diamond-shaped casket, the body completely covered in flowers except for the face and chest, and the whole casket with a gauzy piece of white lace to soften her features.  The interment was done in the family crypt, and she was laid to rest next to the bones of her great-grandmother, and above the bones of her husband, dead these many years. We watched as a mason bricked up and mortared the casket in place, where it will lie for 20 years before being opened and the casket discarded, when her bones will join the pile of bones from her great grandmother.  

 I'm spent. I feel like too little butter scraped over too much bread. I have so much to do and so little time before I have to fly out for work, and I'm jetlagged and having a post-stress reaction I guess. I spent the past 5 days doing my utmost to keep my family safe and supported, and my Brazilian family, all 300+ of them, were there with us the whole time. 

 I guess I will write about it more. I also got to see my new house under construction, hung out with the builder, who is married to one of my wife's cousin's aunts' I think, and got my wife hammered drunk along with another cousin when she struggled with processing everything, which actually turned unto a nice story.  The hangover I woke up with, along with the night I spent talking with her and letting her cry things out and laugh too, were worth the price. 

 Anyhow, I got her in bed about 30 minutes ago, and have hours of shit to do before I can rest yet. 

 What a ride it was. Some great moments, I have never been hugged and kissed and made to feel included this much, ever. The pain was awful, the heartache worse, but as that started giving way to the laughter and the stories and shared memories, I know we did it right, and by me, I mean my wife, who deserves her nap for sure. 

Pictures and some of the better stories to follow. 

Bereavement flight

 

 

  Of all the places I expected NOT to be at 0430 on a Monday, the airport in Newark NJ is certainly one of them. And yet here I am.

 

  My mother-in-law had been ill for several weeks, culminating in a systemic infection and a blockage in her one working kidney. Once I wired pretty much a car’s worth of money to the hospital in Brazil last week, they unblocked the kidney, but found a tumor in her bladder while they were headed uptown, so they removed that as well as the blockage.

  Given the language barrier, a certain hesitation to pin down the attending physician and question him, Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife and I never felt like we really had a solid grasp of what was happening, despite arranging 24 hour care over and above the hospital care, which is a thing in Brazil.  Over the past few days, my MIL’s recovery waxed and waned, though in truth I assumed the infection was under control before they performed surgery on her.  Yesterday when I got up, she was talking about going home in a few days. She started vomiting around 10pm last night, and at midnight I got a text that she had vomited again and was on oxygen, and 10 minutes later, the shitty call that we all dread, after she passed away.

 

  I went through my parents’ deaths a few years ago, and it was painful, even though it was expected.  I knew my Mother-In-Law wasn’t doing well, but I tried buoying up Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife, and trying to keep everyone optimistic, and at 8am our time she was going to talk to the hospital and decide whether or not to get a flight to Brazil, as her mom seemed to be rallying the past 2 days. 

 Ugh. I can see just as far through a brick wall as the next guy, but boy howdy I am kicking my own ass for it now.

 

  I got to say goodbye to both of my parents at the end, and it was still awful. My father cheated death so many times that one of my brothers and I both have a weird phobia about calls between around 9:30PM and 6:30AM, which is when we'd always get the notification.  So when the phone rang just a few minutes after midnight, and 10 minutes after my wife said her mom was vomiting and on oxygen, I knew;  of course I knew. Nobody calls with good news after midnight. 

 But my God, when I picked up my phone, the absolute wail of pain was something I’ll remember forever I think, even knowing what was happening. My wife does NOT cry. I have never heard her hysterical before, and if God is kind, I never will again. My heart is absolutely broken for her. In a crisis my wife is an absolute rock. Chokes me up right here, remembering it. 

  Turns out, it’s worse, much much worse, when it’s not you, but your spouse, who loses a parent.

             Like as not I’ll be going to Brazil tomorrow for a week or so. It's the least practical thing I could possibly do, and I absolutely have to.  In talking to my wife an hour ago, she's regained her composure and we talked about telling my kid about his grandmother in a few hours, as he was working overnight at his own job, and we didn't want to blindside him. He talked with his grandmother every other day and my idiot ass talked to him about 8pm last night, saying that he didn't need to worry so much, that she was holding her own. Ugh, he's going to get home 2 hours before my plane lands, and my wife will have to tell him without me there. 

   And why the fuck am I sharing all this? I'm sick myself. I have a flu-like bug, ironically enough. Started about 36 hours ago. Not  covid, turns out, as I checked, but I feel like hammered shit and the runny nose thing just came in as a little fuck you just for me a couple of hours ago. Awesome. 

   I dunno. I'm not myself here. Gotta get my shit together. 

 

First watch back

 I'm back on the HQ now, and those last 2 weeks flew by.    Stepped right in on my first watch to finish topping off a load, and presently I'm just waiting for slack tide for our tugboat to come and move us to a lay berth to wait out our next ship to arrive at a local anchorage. 

          Sunday was probably the most fun I had in my time off. With my kid out for the day, during the afternoon I loaded up a tub of beers, champagne, water and soda, and cued up some music and Inappropriately Hot Foreign wife and I spent the next 6-7 hours in the pool, getting thoroughly soused and crisping up nicely. Well, she did. I had to take hourly breaks to put on SPF 1-million so that I wouldn't burst into flames. 

             It was nice that such hair as I still have hadn't yet been shaved off, which I usually do the day before leaving for work, which leaves me looking more like Lester Lightbulb than Kojak, sadly. 

Insert obscure Boston humor here. 

        Inappropriately Hot Foreign wife tried wearing an American-style bikini (Brazilians preferring less material; think 2 postage stamps, an eyepatch and some shoestring) but found it much too constricting after a second glass of champagne  ("I no like this. Eet feels like I wear a burka or how you say in english, paraqueta? (Parachute))."   Still, while the bikini stayed on, it was nice to be able to get SFW pictures together for once. 

 

To the Brazilian sensibility, these are giant nana thunderpants

      All in all it was a day to put the stresses and mostly unhappy nature of of the events of the past few weeks out of our mind. And not being kids, spending most of the day drinking and swimming (with a 30 min break for wings and ribs, which we ate sitting side by side on the pool stairs), by 8pm she was passed out on the couch and I got to start to watch 'Fallout' which is about the most creative thing I've seen on TV in years. Utterly insane and enjoyable. I gave up by 10pm though, after rehydrating, and scooped her up and carried her upstairs, pretending not to notice that that was a LOT harder to do than it was 5 years ago, last time I tried it. 

       

       Monday I got to meet with a GI doctor to schedule a colonoscopy, which will be my first as a middle-aged guy.  I think I'm going to binge on taco bell and chinese food the night before, though. Why should I be the only one in the room having a miserable experience? So that'll be the next time I go home.    I scheduled it for the day after crew change, because why not? I can be hungry on the plane and drink the explosive nasty ass cleaner when I get home, get the shitty day out of the way. 

 

I'm still not dead

 It's the weekend now, and for Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife and I, that means we have a few days together. Between construction of the house in Brazil, an upcoming family wedding that we need to fly in for, and a sudden downturn in my mother-in-law's health, I'm throwing money in the air and it ain't coming back down. For this reason, there's more overtime in my future, and Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife is up to around 85-90 hours a week at her own job, so of all the things we are doing, relaxing isn't one of them.  We're really getting our asses kicked.

         The shit with my mother-in-law is still fluid- it's a long story but I can tell already there ain't no happy ending coming this time. The bitterness there is that part of building the new house was to put her in it, since I'm only planning on spending 4-5 weeks a year in the house, and frankly, we really nailed the design when it comes to building a tranquil and fun compound that is ideal for visiting and with everything right there, plus it has been rebuilt with age in mind- no stairs except into storage areas, and no trip hazards, because I already know from experience that my feet at night have radar, and are able to find EVERY obstruction eventually, so that I can fall over them.  That would be nice for my MIL, as she's blind.

       Well, it's mid-afternoon already, and we're doing our best here. I've been doting on Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife every chance I can and every moment together is one that we value. Last night, after cooking, I cracked open a serious bottle of wine that a friend carried back to us from the French countryside, and she drank off the bottle over the evening, pleasantly buzzed, while I consoled myself with a couple of glasses of Maker's Mark. Nothing exciting, and she was too tired to do what usually happens when she has a couple of glasses of wine- run out in the back yard naked and jump in the pool. I mean, I married a South American Indio woman. They spend half their lives naked, which is something I support entirely. But she was all demure and we spent the night on the couch just talking back and forth, mostly me letting her talk, letting out all the pressure from too much work, too much worry and a very ill mom 6,000 miles away. 

Romance-wise, it's been a fantastic 2 weeks. Relaxation-wise, not not at all.  There have been some great moments though. 

woops...

 I'm not dead. 

   I'm at home. 10 weeks at work was enough. 

 I've been home a week already. The days are flying by. 

    back to work next week. For another 10 I think. 

Another week down, another to go

 Hot damn, week 10 begins tomorrow here aboard  HAWSEPIPER's Afloat Global HQ/Dungeon of Dark Delights. 

       Last week? It definitely happened. And by It, I mean the last week.  It was neither fish nor fowl nor good red meat, just a week of Rise and Grind, and other than the heat and humidity, not particularly notable. I'm in the right frame of mind for where I am, no signs of Channel Fever, where guys start getting buggy and need to go home.  As I mentioned in my last post, The Office (Long may they rule, long may they shit light on the heads of the damned) took away B and kept him for an extra week on The Loaner, the punishment barge that nobody will work on board for less than time-and-a-half. B got a massive payout for spending 3 weeks there, God bless and save him from black lung, ringworm, Athlete's Foot, Athlete's Ass, and Athlete's All the Skin Between Foot and Ass... anyhow, B comes home tomorrow, and my latest fill in guy, a new, quiet, competent and thoughtful dude who is a jewel amongst the runny steaming dog turds, when compared to all the other new hires that are infecting our ranks.  Seriously, I like the guy, he has his shit together, and once he gets some more experience under his belt, he'll be an asset, and even now he's already decent as a mariner. 

    So, despite having had a lot of fill in guys, this past week went well, better than expected, and best of all, it's past, and that means just one week to go. B is coming back tomorrow, which means it will be my turn to rotate to take over the night watch, and it being August now, I am happy for it, as I have been baking my balls off for the past 3 weeks. 

       Yesterday we had a surprise visit from the Scupper Police, very unexpected, as another one of them (there being only 3) just did a Health and Safety walkthrough last week when we had the Coast Guard aboard for tea and crumpets the annual inspection and associated clusterfucks.  

         I know all of the Scupper Police to a degree. Of the 3 of them, yesterdays inspector is someone I've worked with, if briefly, and the senior among them, and also a guy who's pretty passionate about improving living and working conditions amongst the crews.  It's funny because the first time I met him when I relieved him down in the Caribbean, I didn't care for him at the time. These days I enjoy talking to him, and of course his walkaround didn't bear any fruit- he's the type of guy who, if he sees something that isn't right, talks to you about it and helps you set it right if possible, which is something that I wish all Office People did. 

     At any rate, the Scupper Police came and went, and we did well. The cargoes we've been getting have been steady and occasionally complex, enough so that I have had to use my head more, which has been nice. 

         And a week from tomorrow, I'll be going home, and that's a fine thing. 

Stay Gold, Ponyboy!

 Well, this has been nice. 

    We had yesterday off, and today off too, so far at least. 

   It being Monday, the Office People (Long may they shit light on the heads of the damned) like to play "Surprise, asshole!" and throw last-minute cargoes and other clusterfucks on us, so I'm not sold on the idea of having a second day off in a row, but we're approaching noon, and a day-and-a-half is pretty nice and pretty rare these days, so I ain't bitchin.'   At any rate, yesterday and today I went for long sunrise walks through Brooklyn around Brooklyn Bridge park and Dumbo, about 5 miles both mornings I guess. It's getting easier on my feet and joints as I lose weight. I no longer waddle.  Today was a trash day, though, so as I walked through part of Brooklyn Heights, I damn near threw up at the putrid garbage and piss smell that some areas were giving off.  Ah well. 

        With the time off, Big E and I got caught up on our maintenance and even ahead a bit on some things as far as stocking shelves and the like. I lose Big E this Wednesday, he's going home for 2 weeks. Normally, B comes back at this point for his month of joy and glory here, but B was working over on The Loaner, and the company offered him a bribe to stay on there for an extra week and suffer, and they're sending me some fill-in guy for a week. I haven't had the best luck with fill-in guys recently, but there's always a chance it'll be one of the old bunkering hands around here, racking up some OT.  Have to see.  

  It's also week 9 for me here since I was home last, which is only possible thanks to the friendship and support of Big E and B, after said fill-in guys and such made me want to make sweet mouth love to a .45. Regardless, Wednesday is halfway day of this 4 week tour on the HQ, which means that I am on the downhill slope, and there's a certain amount of inertia that carries me through at this point. Barring any surprises, I'll be headed home in 2 weeks. Already have my plane tickets sorted. 

   Speaking of plane tickets, yesterday I also bought the fam's tickets to Brazil for our next trip.  I went to a lot of trouble to organize time off over the holidays, made promises signed in blood, auctioned off my precious Seed, all the usual, to get holiday time off... and then I went to book tickets. Holy-O-dogshit, $9000 for round trip tickets!  And not good tickets. Steerage class, the cheapest ones, where you sit with the cattle, and the Irish. So, no, no holiday travel. Instead I will go in January, where tickets were only $3,000. Pretty good deal considering I'm going from Miami to Sao Paolo to the teeny little 2 gate airport in my new home a couple hours' flight back north from Sao Paolo.  The builder promises that our new house there will be finished. I hope so, because paying his ass, springing for a decent hotel for a couple of weeks would be a bear.