Gatas do Brasil (semi NSFW)

 Well, it's cold and rainy here at HAWSEPIPER's Afloat Global HQ/Palace of Health and Wellness. We're having a down day- a damp, drizzly November of the soul, as Melville puts it. I'm trying to eat healthy, so it's not like we can just fry up some chicken and fries and shit, either. I anticipate my salad with ennui.


       Obviously, it's time to look at naked and half-naked Brazilian women, rectify the humors a bit, and with Carnival 2016 in the bag, there's plenty of new material to share this year, and I'll parse it out here and there. Stay tuned.

Very important news of global concern

Perhaps one of the single greatest challenges facing Brazil today, and of absolutely first concern, judging by the attention paid to the issue, is the judging of just which woman has the nicest bottom in the country famed and appreciated for their women's devotion to having nice bottoms.

 To act as an information clearinghouse and promote quality bottom-looking-at judging ability, Brazil formed the Miss Bumbum committee, a guild of selfless, professional bum-lookers dedicated to being able to who gots the best bottom.

 Think I'm waxing poetic? You have no idea what these poor, dedicated men have to go through. Forget being a Vegas oddsmaker, THESE are the guys who have to deal with a mountain of minutia and the ability to pick up on near-invisible cues when judging many, many butts out there where the difference between one and sundry is almost invisible to the human eye.

 So, in proving my point, here are the Miss Bumbum contestants we're talking about.

Finally, some answers- IMPORTANT NEWS FROM BRAZIL

Well, the results are in, and we now have confirmation that Brazil has crowned this year's Miss BumBum, the owner of the most round and lovely backside in the world.
      Brazil has a lot of things deeply, deeply wrong with it. This is not one of them.

 Anyhow, judge for yourself. I'm inclined to think that, despite the controversy (there were accusations of Bribery by the 3rd place winner, which, knowing Brazil, means that she didn't offer to bribe whoever was in charge of security for the judges who she bribed), they chose well. She's pretty- not a knockout by Brazilian standards, but lovely all around, and with a 42-inch bottom, not in danger of being soon forgotten.