I know that as time goes on, I use this blog more and more as a place for my id to go potty, and there's less maritimey things in here. It's my pressure relief valve.
I'd like to think I'm not a prima donna, but I'm less flexible than I used to be, and a bit more grumpy. This is in odd contrast to the fact that I feel that I am a more fulfilled person than I used to be. Perhaps that is an effect of me drawing more of my self-identity from my home life and less from my job as I age.
Maybe it's just age.
So, last night was pretty damn welcome. I had the watch off.
I had a very tolerable 2 weeks of working OT on the former HQ. One big positive is that I am familiar with the layout and the idiosyncrasies of running it. Knowing that #4 port fills up faster than #4 starboard tank, but #2's load evenly, little things that aren't really thought about, but which are impactful in terms of managing the deck while loading and being proactive about the whole 'work the boat, don't let the boat work you' thing. I also knew about the former HQ's small quarters, which would have been fine except that there were too many bodies in there, which is something I wrote about before, my inability to come to terms with trainees as someone who isn't willing to quit (yet) over being forced occasionally to train people.
Anyhow, that's something I wrote about before. Sufficient unto the day to say that I found the living conditions stressful, but tolerated it well until the last 3 days aboard, where I started getting claustrophobic to the point that it distracted me from doing my job optimally.
So, much like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer, it felt so blissful to stop.
Last night we were moored at a lay berth, it was pouring rain, and I got to mostly sit inside in the dimmed lights, and relax. Now, I had had a few hours to do just this the night before, prior to starting cargo ops, so I was already in my right mind, but lordy, short of a stout glass of whisky and having my wife to hand, that was a great way to unwind.
I'm continuing to read Nick Cole and Jason Anspaugh's works. They are a hell of a literary team. I got a couple hours' reading in before I felt assed enough to do a bit of PM's. Turns out I had to add 40 gallons of hydraulic fluid to the reservoir, and show a little love to the air compressor, and I laid out my marlinespike seamanship kit, as I have some hawsers to splice this weekend. I certainly wasn't going to ruin a nice night by working outside if I didn't need to.
Welcome to ‘old guy ness’, it’s a real thing.
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