Tuesday, April 27, 2021

Live from the Whorehouse Hotel/Weed Emporium

Welp, crew change tomorrow. I'm all arrived back in NYC, flew in this morning on a 100% full flight, so that was fun. I flew United for I think the 2nd/3rd time ever, and arrived at my destination with so much knee pain that I was hobbling the whole walk out of the airport. I've never been so cramped. I'm not a tall guy. Well, I am, I guess, a bit, at 6 foot, but I have little teeny stubby legs (more on that later) that certainly should be OK with the normal seating on a discount airline. But no, I was in hell. 

      Well, the walk out to my taxi fixed me up, thankfully, and I had an actually pleasant ride to Brooklyn from Newark, which sure was a surprise. 

    So, the 40-room 5-story crew change hotel we use also rents rooms for 4 hours at a time to the local whores. So that's a thing, and so long as the manager keeps the working girls on a separate floor or at the least on the other side of the building, they're not too disruptive, although I do know one engineer who had to get his room changed just last month as Mrs. Comfort next door was an enterprising lass and also in high demand. The whole hotel absolutely reeks unbelievably of weed. It's inescapable- every room, every hallway has the acrid stink of stale smoke from the Devil's Lettuce. I fear for our pristine urine should we get randomed close to crew change. But what can we do? It's not like there's better places for under a couple hundred dollars a night. It's Brooklyn, where a ratty fleabag like this place is still in high demand, and this is our 3rd hotel over the years. The other two weren't really much better, if we're being honest, and this place has the virtue of being closer to the office and in a neighborhood that is relatively safe. 

Now, not to be Debbie Downer, as is my wont after leaving a perfectly good wife 1500 miles away in favor of getting my ass paid. My poor liver is about ready for some rest here at work. I've had some amazing bourbons come across my bar at home the past two weeks, and the persistent aches that I was getting at work in my legs responded well to ethanol-mediated thinning of the blood and what I think were 5 evenings in the jacuzzi with Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife. Beyond a vague leftover annoying twinge from having my knees forced up around my ears in the horrible plane seats this morning, I'm arriving in fair condition. 

 So, I was in beast mode while I was home in terms of productivity. I got my garage wired up properly for the use of my heavier tools, did a ton of work on my assorted plants at home, repotting and cutting out stumps and the like, and did a bunch of work with my scrapwood, getting the pile down to a very respectable small size for almost no money, and I even got to Make Some Stuff, which is what I really like to do.  I got the Honey-Do list all knocked out, and even got 25' up on a ladder and patched holes that the local red-headed woodpecker put in my house's trim. Said patches were made with concrete and painted over, and I heard the little bastard trying to remake his holes without success, which was a giggle for me. I hope he got a headache, the fucker. 

As I mentioned above, I have little stubby legs. At 6 feet tall, I have 29-inch legs, which is the same length, amusingly, as those of Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife, who, at 5' 3", is far more pleasingly proportioned than I. And the weather at night being just right for a soak in the jacuzzi, we both end up struggling a bit to get in and out of the thing, so I ripped down some 1x8's, used up some 2x4's and paint and deck screws, and made a 2-sided step so we could get in and out of the tub easier. Add in some champagne, a charcuterie plate and a selection of boozes, and we have had some great nights at low cost at home. 

I'm happy to report that tan line season is here, as well. 

1 comment:

Dave said...

The woodpeckers are going after bugs. If there are no bugs, there are no woodpeckers. Might want to get that checked out.