rain rant

So, the rain loves me. Fact.

 The rain loves me and wants to be near me.

 I know this because it only rains when I need to be out on deck. The MAJORITY of the time, the rain will stop 5 minutes before the end of my watch, and start 5 minutes after it starts.

 It's enough to give me a complex. It gives my opposite out here the giggles. You see, the rain hates him. The rain goes away 5 minutes before he steps out of deck.

 The rain fears him.

 Whoever said that it is better to be loved than feared can work with me for a tour, and then kiss my big, white, presumably wet, butt.