Wednesday, September 2, 2009


1). It's wicked nice out. As I type, we're passing under a bridge, heading up the Delaware river in the neighborhood of Marcus Hook, PA. I have just finished loading a banana boat up with bunkers down in Wilmington DE. The engineer on watch was one of the single creepiest people I've ever experienced.

2) I've noticed a lot of ads on facebook claiming that "Obama wants single moms to finish college," "Obama wants you to get a mortgage," "Obama wants you to get out of credit card debt..." the list goes on. As far as I can tell, if these ads are correct, there is only a short list of things that the President doesn't actually want for you. They include:

Improve crop yields
Enlarge your penis (I bet the ad for this one gets posted later this week)
Attract women with pheromones
build this hovercraft
eradicate the boll weevil

And that's about it. Everything else, you name it, and I can find an ad claiming that Obama wants you to...(insert issue here).

I'm just sayin'... enough. Jesus Christ.

3. I have discovered a secret to dream control: when the sour ass-like smell of Bunker Oil penetrates the bunkroom, brief nightmares are inevitable. I say brief because the smell is also not unlike the smell of a sick persons' bathroom, not to put too fine a point on it. Therefore, after brief disturbing dreams, the smell penetrates the conscious mind enough to wake the sleeper, who then awakes, wondering who, exactly, shit the bed.


4. I am frustrating my new watch partner because I say 'what's that?" a lot. He is 25, high strung, and mumbles. Not my fault at all, although I will admit that for the first few days, I really, really thought that my marginal-at-best hearing had turned the corner. In the meanwhile, the poor kid thinks that I don't listen to anything he says... not that I'm that attentive, either, but I do listen... sort of. I'm one of the only guys in our fleet who isn't addicted to "world of warcraft," so there is some truth that I'll listen to some conversations with only half an ear, leaving 1 1/2 ears to focus on, say, whatever's on TV. Heaven forfend I miss an important conversation over the VHF regarding so-and-so's level 79 Death Knight what totally got wasted by a troll or something.

5. I ran into a guy on a tug who wore his shirt collar flipped up. Apparently it's 1981, but only if you're under 25. Did you know that this was the style? Who watched 'the Goonies' this winter, saw Corey Feldman, and then thought that he looked cool?
Yeah, stock up on Lederhosen now. The german 19th century look is going to come back any day now.

Anyhow, I was completely merciless to the kid with the 'popped collar.' I actually felt bad, but the poor guy... no one wants to see some nice young kid go outside looking like he was dressed by Stevie Wonder's pimp.