Tugboater for a day

Well, it was a hell of a trip.

       I got to sail on a tugboat from NY to Philadelphia, a 27-hour voyage, and I got a little bit of everything in the experience.

     I'm not a tugboater. I've spent a grand total of 3 weeks on tugboats in my life. 1 week on an elderly ship assist tug about 12 years ago, and 2 weeks on a tug moving oil barges, of which there was only 2-3 jobs done, in daylight, none of which required moving more than 4 miles.

 So, yeah, I'm not experienced. I came from ships. Different world. I have been on barges that were towed, so the experience of seeing everything from the tugboat's perspective was really neat.
     Essentially, the HQ was moved to Philadelphia to cover for another barge that went into shipyard. So this is supposedly a temporary move, God willing. The tug that towed the HQ is run by a good friend, and a boat I'm familiar with, and perhaps more importantly, with a crew who actually like me, and who I like, so it was an enjoyable ride.

 The weather was gorgeous. Once we were on the tow wire, hove short, things settled down.

the HQ, looking back at the Verrezano Narrows, the NY harbor entrance

 When we got out of Ambrose Channel, the approach to NY harbor that runs to the south of NY harbor, and into deeper water, the tow wire was stretched out to somewhere around 1300 feet, as a fairly large swell was coming in from the east. The motion was interesting. We were rolling pretty good, but every now and again there was a resistance, which I guess was from the tow. It wasn't snatching at the tug, which can happen when the tow and tug are out of sync and the tension on the tow wire gets tight enough to restrain the natural motion of the tug. At any rate, I stayed in the wheelhouse on the captain's watch, catching up with my friend and enjoying the cool air and seeing the stars a little bit- I haven't seen much dark sky between living in south FL and working in NY, and I wasn't seeing much, but it was more than I'd seen in some time.
     The swell was not enjoyable. I'll say that. I wasn't nauseous, but the AB and the engineer certainly were. I was uncomfortable. The captain and mate were deeply content, in their element.
 I went to sleep around midnight, and for the first time in 11 years, I had to stuff a life jacket under one side of the mattress to wedge myself into the bunk and the bulkhead so I wouldn't roll over if I dozed and wake myself up. It's not a very comfortable way to sleep, but I could doze here and there. I've never really been great at sleeping in a swell. I get by. Somewhere around 4am we turned, however, and started taking the swell on the quarter, and then the motion settled down and I got a nice hour's sleep before waking up at 5. Watch change was 0530, and it gave me time to wake up and clear out of the room, as my bunk was in the mate's room, and he would be going to bed at 6.
            I came out to a very different ocean. Conditions were glorious. The swell was a bare 3 feet maybe. When I went up to the wheelhouse, I arrived before sunrise to calmer seas and an absolutely beautiful morning.

aaaand that's what I do my job

 Now I remember why I do what I do. I need these moments, and one sunrise like that has always taken away 20 bad days. It's been a long, long time since I got to wake up to that feeling.

   The rest of the morning passed rapidly.

 Too rapidly, really. After noon, I slept another 2 1/2 hours. We were starting to sail up the Delaware river, but I was pretty beat after 2 long days between not sleeping in the swell and making the HQ ready for sea prior to that. The captain and mate shortened tow at several points, until after a good dinner we made up alongside the tug and the deckhands and I climbed aboard the HQ and unlashed the mooring lines and such.
     Now, I felt an odd anxiety on leaving the HQ. It felt like a betrayal to shut down the generators and dog the hatches down the day before, and it felt good to fire them back up and open up the house. The deckhands helped me unlash and generally get the HQ ready to dock when the time came, and then headed back aboard the tug while I soaked up the feeling of being back home. 3 hours later, we were docking at company HQ in Philly, and my 2nd man was waiting on the dock, having flown in earlier.

       Saying goodbye and thank you to the tug crew was fine, and they needed an hour or two to make ready to head right back to NY light boat (not towing). My 2nd man came on and helped me pull the towing gear back up on deck, which took a lot longer than it should have as I'm badly out of practice. Once that was done, we got him and his stuff moved back in, and since we haven't seen each other for a few weeks, he clued me in on conditions in the real world with the COVID virus. That's another story, and one most people know more about than I, as I've been aboard for the past few weeks.

 I dumped my clothes and went to bed, slept like a dead man for 6 hours and was up at 0500 again. Tonight I'll go to bed early and hopefully get a good sleep.

Make Ready For Sea!

After 7 (!) years, the HQ is putting to sea.
 7 years ago, B and I and our 2nd man, D, Were exiled to Philadelphia on a 6 month crude oil contract on the original HQ.  When the contract was done, we were kicked off the HQ and given a new HQ fresh out of shipyard, only this one, the crew quarters were disgusting and the overall level of care was absolutely marginal.
 We had spent 2 years on customizing the interior of the HQ. Cabinetry was custom, there was an entertainment center built by us, we put up brass fittings, hung potted plants... basically made the place like a wealthy person's study. And it was taken away from us. The guys who had lived like animals for 5 years and turned their crew quarters into a maggot-filled shit-encrusted dump got the HQ, and we got their... leftovers.
 That always left a bad taste in my mouth. The managers who fucked us that badly did so out of necessity. But at the end of that contract, B and I headed back to NY and went back to work.

 So we got the call last week that they want the HQ down in Philly. Thing is, B and I are a known quantity, we'll get shit done. The HQ is also known. It's needed down there. Ironically, our old HQ needs to go to the shipyard. They're sending us to fill the gaps.
 B and I never made the HQ luxurious like the old one. Frankly we couldn't afford to do that twice. The  old HQ was put in the hands of the pair of disgusting,unhygienic shitbirds who fucked up our present quarters originally. It's since changed hands repeatedly, and hopefully the guys who have it take care of it but who knows. Regardless, we're nervous. Our employer absolutely rewarded us last time for fulfilling a difficult contract by fucking us directly in the ass without benefit of lube or even a token thank-you 7 years ago, when we were given a great hull in exchange for a good one, and told to pound sand about our complaints about it being rat infested, disgusting and dirty.
 Thing is, the good people who let us throw money at the quarters to turn the HQ into a home were here in NY. In Philly? The office drones who are reputed to me more interested in appearances and less in people are there.
 I pray we are pleasantly surprised. I'm good with the change of scenery. I am happy to do some new jobs in places I haven't been for 8 years. Temporarily. I prefer the known quantities of our present managers. All I know about the Philly shoreside crew, last time I worked a bad job there, after 36 hours of  killing myself without a break, I got shit for not wearing coverallls with the company logo.

 So I'm nervous, slightly, about going there. Excited too, though. Last time I dealt with these folks I got a big mouthful of shit and got fussed at for not being grateful for it, though, so I'm nervous. On the upside, I am ready to fly the flag and show these guys that after 7+ years of working in the pressure cooker of NY, the small potatoes they have to deal with can be met without breaking a sweat.

My my my...my Corona!

I'm back at work, and the month or so I haven't been blogging was... pretty ordinary. I worked, I went home, I'm back at work.

 Home was amazing- B family reunion, and my ONE surviving cousin on my side was there, too. We spent 4 days together down my way in S. FL. I hadn't seen half the fam since my mom passed away a few years ago. I think I can say with confidence that we'll be getting together more. We really do share the same humor for the most part, although I did tone it down a bit, as there were ladies present, so all was well.

     Flying back earlier this week, there were a few folks in surgical masks, dust masks, bandannas, etc over their faces.  Traveling has certainly been curtailed by the coronavirus. The Miracle Flight out of Palm Beach airport (30 people preboard in wheelchairs, 27 exit under their own power) which is completely full 9 times out of 10 had nobody in the middle seats, so it was VERY comfortable.

 Not being immunocompromised, I wasn't worried, and am not worried about my own health. I have several weeks' food stockpiled at home for the fam. Hopefully there will be minimal disruption in services and those among us who are at elevated risk take good care of themselves.

       Thus far there has been plenty of container ship traffic in Port Newark, NY/NJ's busiest port. I'm led to understand that there's a big dropoff in container ship sailings from China, so that will work its' way over here eventually. Have to see how that works out.

 I am tempted to be optimistic and dismissive of the claims of armageddon, but I am starting to think that the disruption of supplies will create a lot of headaches. China's main ports are reporting a 20% decline in year-over-year volume for the month of February, but we're talking about China, who are NOT famed for being honest even on good days and these do not appear to be good days. So who knows.

 We've swapped over on the HQ to handle exclusively low-sulfur fuel products in the face of the new global cap on sulfur content in fuels. With March 1 having passed, ships are not even allowed to carry high sulfur fuels aboard unless they have scrubbing systems aboard, and not a lot of ships have scrubbers. With skyrocketing demand for low-sulfur fuel, plus the cascade effect of having to make room for low-sulfur fuels in shoreside storage, this has caused a bit of a spike in high-sulfur fuels anyhow, so I suppose this was inevitable.  Between increased fuel costs and decreased container traffic, I expect we'll see some container ships laid up if things don't get resolved in China soon.

 I don't know if I'll be blogging more now that I've had a little break or not, but I'm open to the idea. Might be a nice way to pass the next month until I come home again.

I'm alive!

It's been a few weeks since I posted, and honestly, I didn't miss it. I guess I really am winding down here.

   I got to go home for a few weeks, and I'm back at work again now. Much has happened, not much of it newsworthy. Going home was good, a touch stressful at times. Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife got promoted at work, which is welcome news for her, as she wasn't overly enamored of her supervisor, but turns out her employer wasn't overly enamored of her supervisor neither, and now she's much happier. It was hard to focus on anything more than the mundane when my wife was coming home so stressed all the time.  We completed several major projects at home, which is always rewarding, and my son needed me to help resolve a bunch of things, which left little time for relaxing.

 Well, I got a bunch of shit done, and I had a little time to spend in my shop, 2 afternoons only this time, but it was enough to get some things done at least. After that, there wasn't time for much else, couple of little projects at home, that's about it, and back to work.

What does Armageddon smell like?

Funny thing, I didn't decide to quit blogging, just came to understand that I didn't need to do it anymore. This place was my outlet for stress and also for sharing some of the cool things I get to see and do... and the past few weeks I've been staying away from the kulturekampf as much as I can, and it's paying off. I feel a touch disconnected, but that's not a bad thing. I've been doing things that normal fools do, and it's kind of been nice. No stressing, no arguing... well, less of those things, anyhow. The people we surround ourselves with have such a strong impact on us, and for the past number of years at work, I've been extremely fortunate to have worked with people that did a great job and were pleasant to live with.  I was so lucky in that regard that it happened twice, where we captured lightning in a bottle with our junior man. Third time... not the charm.
I think that's part of why I have not been motivated to write or create. Perhaps I've grown too susceptible to  influence by my shipmates, and being forced to take on a coworker who isn't so able to do the co part of the work has been a drain on our energy.
 I've gotten soft. I never wanted to be a sea-daddy, and refused, threatened to quit over it. They called my bluff, and I folded. So despite knowing I am a shit sea-daddy, and having done my best, they salted the wounds and gave me the man I didn't want to train as a subordinate. I lack the energy, enthusiasm and grace to live 24/7 with a strange man and teach him too. Just not built for that. As I do, I worry I didn't prepare him enough to be a tankerman. So far, he's an acceptable tankerman, but things that can't be taught- leadership, decisiveness... not there. Maybe with time. Thing about being a tankerman, you're expected to be an experienced seaman, and until recently, at a minimum rated as Able Bodied (experienced in seamanship and able to pass a proficiency exam on paper and also by demonstrating marlinespike seamanship) by the coast guard.  I sometimes lose my temper when a mariner can't splice, box a compass or handle basic rigging.  Those are things that should prevent a man from being rated Able. Used to be, anyhow. Well, they're all things that can be taught, thankfully, but no,no, and fuck no I'd rather be lit on fire than stuck teaching that. And guess what I'm doing in my spare time these days?  


 Now, the rant isn't over. Not by a sight.

     I tend to work 0600-1800, which generally means from 0500-0545 I'm up and available too if needed, and from 1800 to 2100ish, I'm also up if needed.  I want 8 hours to sleep, because ideally I need 7 to wake up refreshed and fully rested, like most any man in his mid 40's. I can survive on a lot less. 3-4 hours a night for a while, 5-6 for a few weeks for sure. But I don't want to.

   With regulatory changes in what type of oil that ships can burn having changed on January1, there's been some procedural changes in how oil companies fulfill fuel orders. 90% of ships are burning more expensive fuel, while some ships have scrubbing systems that clean their exhaust gas contents to remove some contaminates, which allows them to burn cheaper oil.
    During the transition months, oil companies are taking heavy, viscous and just nasty fuel oil and cutting it with ultra clean diesel to get it up to spec. This is done by blending the two types of fuel in specific ratios... well, specifically this is done by ME  blending the two fuel oils in specific ratios... the process and calculations for which my second man can't wrap his mind around despite a lot of effort on his part. So it goes. This means that if we're loading oil when I'm off watch, I get up to oversee the process. So there goes my rest schedule. It actually hasn't been bad, and it's gotten better with time, too, as Jan 1 approached. I was up about 3/4 of my nights on board in Nov/Dec.  The past few weeks, maybe just twice. Some of the oil companies are able to source good quality oil that doesn't need altering I guess. So I'm sleeping more...
...except for the other night, when SOMEONE decided to microwave fish at 3am.

 I'm sleeping soundly, which means that I'm aware on some level of changes in list and trim and the load on the generators, but definitely asleep. The stink of some sort of fishy smelling fish being cooked woke me up like a gunshot. I don't know why, it was nauseating and awful, and really, really pervasive, having worked its way into my room, with a tightly closed door and no common ventilation between the galley and my room.

 I grew up fishing, spent 20 years living and working with the stink of dead partially-rotten baitfish around me. Every car I owned smelled of fish until I was 30. That smell doesn't bother me.

 You microwave fish, it smells different. Wrong. It smells wrong. And my shipmate, a bachelor who in his oblivious habit of living his daily economy isn't used to thinking about others, overcooks a fucking piece of fish. In the microwave. And it smells horrid. Like a bible story. Like someone took a shit in an open grave and then poured rancid fish on top.

 Well, there wasn't much chance of sleeping any more so I got up, got dressed, had a nice yell at my 2nd man, and went about my day.

 The smell was there all day. I bleached and scrubbed the microwave first. I washed down the galley with lemon-scented soap after sanitizing it. I wiped down counters and the stove with  a halved lemon, even the steel eyes on the stove. Put the trash can outside and mopped the deck. The smell was gone... for a little while.  After I had started working, I had to spend a good 45 minutes outside. I walked back in... and fish. It stank of micowaved fish.
 Turns out that smell got into the sweatshirts and raingear hanging in the galley coathooks. They reeked. So I got some laundry going, and lit a really awful and choking incense stick that was in the junk drawer. I hate these things, they're so cloying that it's hard to breathe. I lit a second one, put them on opposite sides or the room and moved them about every few minutes. Like one of those unmarried middle-aged women we all know who do hippy pagan bullshit like burning sage saying they're eliminating bad juju or some such bullshit. Well, I'm here to tell you, I have a new sympathy for the multiple cat fake religion ladies. I smoked the shit out of that room trying to exorcise the demon of the microwave. I was getting asthma and I don't even have asthma. And in the end, I emerged victorious.
 Oh, not that the smell is gone. I ruined my sense of smell, burnt the hell out of my own nose. It's fine now.

winding it down

I started writing in blog format some time in maybe 2003 or so?  It's been a long time. I've met some great people and had great experiences.

    These days I'm not updating the blog very much. The value in writing here has declined for me. Life happened along the way.
       
       When I started writing I hadn't even gotten rated as Able Seaman aboard the ship I was working on. I was an Ordinary Seaman, the very lowest rating aboard. My original plan, to receive an unlimited license, made sense to me- I just had to put in time and effort, and learn the job.

      Along the way, that employment market died. The maritime academies still crank out kids with 3rd mates licenses for jobs that no longer exist. I settled on a smaller license and work on smaller boats, which is where I started anyhow.
    Thing is, I have a life too now. Family, other obligations and priorities. My job no longer has to be the central core of my sense of self. If you had asked me 20 years ago about who I was, the first sentence would refer to making a living off the ocean. Now? Husband and parent. That's who I am and that's enough for me.



    I'm sure I'll still write here from time to time, but I no longer have the compulsion to race to the internet whenever I read something. I've got other things to do now.

To work

Well, I flew in just as some weather hit, and in just a few hours I went from sunny and 80 to freezing rain and snow. So that sucked

     I'm back at work now. It's cold. But I had a hell of a great time at home. I'm pretty beat, though, even so. Maximizing time with  family, etc etc. Makes me happy.

 I got my house looking just so, for our first Christmas there, and, although I won't be there, we had a nice 10 days or so, and Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife went all out in decorating. I was the labor behind the vision inside, and I did the exterior of the house too. Mostly I just paid for the stuff, and since we tripled the size of our home when we bought the new place, the decorations were not cheap, which sucked, but what the hell, it looks nice.  the 11 foot tree isn't quite finished in the picture below, but we got that done before I flew out.

As with marriage, part of the secret to success despite my being a sailor seems to be putting the effort in. We had a great time, and even though this year I'm not even remotely close to coming home for the holidays, we enjoyed what we could, I put some good presents under the tree, and if the timing wasn't all that we could wish, we had plenty of time to be together and will pick up where we left off when I get home next month.
 At which point I get to take down all the lights and decorations.