Monday, November 26, 2018

at home

This is the first morning in almost two weeks that I've been able to have a quiet start to my day. Having a bagel and reading the news has never felt so good.

             With Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife suffering and heavily medicated with limited mobility, it's fallen on me to handle the hundred household tasks that she normally takes care of. Along with tending to her and the indignities that come with being helpless, the sequelae of a seven-hour surgery- risk of anasthesia-related pneumonia and blood clots requires that we be up every four hours and have her walking, plus medications that have to be given 3, 4, 6 times a day, so every two hours I have to wake her up for a couple of gulps of a protein shake and a handful of pills. The challenge here is that she can't be doped into insensibility, because she's got to be able to walk, so pain is a constant companion.

At night, I can't sleep deeply- bathroom breaks, and moving in her sleep or rolling over and she's pulling at surgical incisions, which hurts, so who can sleep when they hear their wife wake up with a yell?

 I say this not to evoke sympathy- for better or worse, right? And this is temporary. She'll recover and is already starting to do so.  No, this opened my eyes to what my brother went through for TWO YEARS with my mom, all while dealing with his own spinal injury and constant pain. I'm bitching after two weeks. I mean, fuck yeah, it's hard work. But my brother did this for two fuckin' years. He lost 50lbs, and his hair went gray. Guy's a goddamn tank, though. I knew he was doing heroic duty, but given daily exposure, I didn't recognize him for being a hero at the time. He is. Absolutely is.

 So, regardless of my bitching, there's been some great stuff too. My kid has also been kicking ass helping me and his mom every day. I'm as proud of him as a hen with a new egg.

 My challenge this week is to prep for Christmas around the house- decorating is a big thing for us, and normally, other than hanging lights and bringing a tree home, that's not my department, but I'm now on decorating duty along with cooking, cleaning, laundry, maintenance and healthcare. The good news is that I'm mildly hyperactive in my obese way anyhow. I tend not to sit.

 I'll actually be looking forward to getting back to work and getting some sleep in.


Beans said...

Back surgery recovery is a total suckage thing. Sounds like your wife is handling it like a trooper. And you are also dealing with it properly.

Care givers are a special type of person. And it does wear on you for being one. Having short-time methods of getting rid of stress helps tons, too. Take care.

STxAR said...

Good on you. You are doing it right.