THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS FROM AN AMERICAN Merchant Mariner
Sunday, December 17, 2017
...and then he rested
After getting off the HQ, I had to go up north to start the probate process for my mom's estate. I spent a couple of days between getting things organized and visiting family and friends. It was actually a pretty decent way to cap off the visits I've been making this past year. Much less stress. Along the way I got to shoot a couple of rounds of skeet at a rod and gun club located south of Boston, which was a load of fun. I've shot trap before, but never skeet. Harder than expected, but just as fun as I'd hoped.
When all was done, I made my way home, and I've been here for a little under 48 hours. It's SO good to be home. I'm having my first real quiet morning right now- family is still sleeping, and I overindulged last night on sriracha chicken and spinach dip, not to mention the couple of glasses of whisky I downed over the course of the evening, so my guts had me up before the sun, but so it goes. By 7am I had breakfasted and recovered, and I'm currently sitting on my patio in shorts and a tshirt watching the bass jump. It's a clear, cool 68 degrees here in God's country. I won't have as much time here as I'd like, but then again, I never do.
The past months being particularly onerous, Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife went all out with decorating and knocking out most of the honey-do list herself, but today seems like a good day to break out the pressure washer and tidy up the concrete outside.
Funny thing about Florida- you don't have to shovel snow, but twice a year you do have to pressure wash your driveways and walkways. The humidity leads to a superfine coat of mildew, and sometimes not too super fine.
This week I had had a license upgrade prep class set up for myself, to start preparing to knock the dust off my captain's license and up the tonnage. I've never, ever ever been a person to let personal issues get in the way of a job to do or a responsibility to uphold, but this time I made an exception and delayed the class. I *could* have done it, and not had time with my family or simply time to myself... but in good conscience my family needs me more than I need that class this week, and the truth is, I'm tired in a way that is entirely new to me. Fatigued is probably a better word. I'm fatigued. I've never felt this way for more than a few hours, but since my mom passed away, I've had nothing but obligations to attend to, and with rare exception, I haven't slept more than 5 hours in a given day. I feel... not myself, I guess.
I'm not having a pity party here. I'm grateful that I now have the opportunity to re-center myself, and I'm surrounded by people who love me even despite knowing me pretty well. I have many things to be grateful for, but I haven't been feeling grateful recently, and that should change too, starting with this quiet house, a full belly and a pretty morning.
I can work on my career after Christmas. For now I have a little time to sit back and enjoy the holiday.
I am Paul B, and I spend most of my life at sea. Ships, Science, the life of a mariner, biology and (mostly) true stories of life among the best and the worst people in the world, the United States Merchant Marines. You'll find it here, maybe. You'll definitely find rants, raves and discussion on life aboard a merchant ship. Come back and see the Brazilian girls, too, who show up fairly regularly.