Saturday, November 22, 2008

be optimistic!

OK, I'm a little nervous about Thanksgiving. We're getting food stores at some point, hopefully before the holiday. This is what I'm thinking of:

My company is run by southerners. Don't get me wrong, the idea of deep-frying a whole turkey is apparently genius, so they've certainly gotten something right. But southern cooking to me is simply this: rooting around in the trash after northern cooking is done, then pan-frying the contents of the compost heap.

But yeah, I''m a little afraid that they'll offer us a real 'treat'. A 'turducken'

Bloody savages.

Look, I like turkey. Duck, too. Chicken? Fine. Put 'em together and what do you get? Poultry-flavored chunky jello. Smells like heaven, tastes like feet. I'm afraid that one year they'll forego the turkey.

I know that not all southern cooking is bad. But I know bad cooking, too. I'm of Irish descent, and 90% of what my ancestors ate is stuff that should only be eaten on a dare. Black Pudding. Blood pudding, Donkey's Gudge, whatever. I like it. I even like Haggis. But Turducken makes me want to cry.

Being honest, I could give turkey a pass. Give me a nice spiral-cut ham anytime for Thanksgiving. I come from the place where the friggin' holiday started. 400 years of friggin' turkey is enough. Let's mix it up a little. Slaughter a swine for ourselves. But no turducken, please.

Anyhow, parting shot: I always wonder at the Pre-thanksgiving stores delivery. The chandler always puts 4- 25 lb birds in one box that breaks open as we lift it up the stairs. Think: it's raining frozen blocks of meat. Anyhow, the birds then skitter across the deck like a curling match is going on, and we've got to go recover them and bucket-brigade our now-tenderized turkeys back to the stores hatch and down into storage.

If you're the praying type, pray that we go to anchor for Thanksgiving. It's actually a nice holiday on board, when it's not inturrupted by cargo ops.


Bill Elms said...

How high do you have to be to imagine the turducken?

doubletrouble said...

Check my place- that pic is from the sunroom window.

Do you want any particular one?

Paul, Dammit! said...

No, no, I'm not picky. I'm partial to the one that's slow and fat, like me.

bigsoxfan said...

Could be worse. Check out the "spamturken" here when you are in surfing range.