Well, as I mentioned yesterday, I got downright poetic about the utter shit show that is earth day on facebook. Some friends commented, including one from my old days as a tree-hugging environmentalist. Funny how my ability to articulate effectively suddenly snaps back after a long absence once I get really, really pissed off. Otherwise, I'd have said that my vocabulary is about 70% of what it was 10 years ago. Turns out, I just don't need an artistic way with the wordies until I need it. I'm pretty proud of ysterday's imagery and metaphors. I think half the anger comes from the first of the month, when I send $700 to the .fed for my student loan repayment, and in 2021, that will finally be finished.
Also, I had a near miss today at work. Something bad happened, we took care of it, and God damn me for a liar if years of training and drills didn't save the day. There's something VERY, VERY positive about being among close friends when you're working on the water. Non-verbal communication and being of like mind in terms of dealing with Bad Things means a more seamless transition from the Oh Shit reaction face to the I'm OK, are you OK's and then the Holy Shit We Better Do Something Or We're Fucked face. Everything went bad, then everything went better, then everything went better than expected, then everything was good, but we experienced a very dangerous moment that couldn't have worked out better beyond actually not having happened, which, unfortunately did.
Anyhow, everything's good now, but here's my rant from yesterday. I had to edit out names and some identifying things, but here's the gist of it.
it's not a difficult idea. I hated my old life, hated what I was doing
and the hypocrites who profited from it. On balance, there is no group
more greedily grasping, more dedicated to minutia and nonsense, than the
foul and venal people who make their
living off of practicing environmentalism as you think of it. People
can talk about the Evil Oil companies, but in my experience they're made
up of (mostly) kind, careful and conscientious people who are happy to
share the wealth for those who work for it. Am I bitter? Oh, lord yes. I
worked for the most prestigious marine laboratory in the world for less
than minimum wage, and had to share credit for every publication they
squeezed out of me with people whom I had never met. I got $1000 a month
out of the $5 million grant I worked under. They kept the other
$4,986,000 as 'overhead' for providing me with a room, 2 whole
electrical outlets, some naked lightbulbs and running water. I had to
provide my own printer paper.
as it is practiced and promulgated is the intellectual and moral
equivalent of masturbating in front of a full-length mirror, and today
is Palm Sunday (heh) for its' vapid enthusiasts. Signing petitions,
donating to non-profits and collecting signatures doesn't keep our
beaches clean and free from oil; I do. Me. Not the people collecting
donations or teaching kids about the true spirit of earth day; it's me,
and my people. WE keep the ocean clean, not the organizers, not the
worshipers of gaia as the cause-celebre. The feel-good pablum of
celebrating the mindless talking about of something disgusts me. It's a
placebo holiday, except that the people who actually make a difference
aren't celebrating. We're too busy and dammit, we're on salary. And
that's the short version. We're all the sum of our experiences. Mine
have been overwhelmingly good, once I got the hell out of trying to make
a living 'making a difference' and started actually doing something
Anyhow, here's a nice Brazilian girl to take the sting away.