crank up the Internet Hate Machine!

 Ever start writing something and accidentally open an emotional floodgate? I just absolutely POLLUTED Facebook with an anti-Earth Day diatribe that really came out of nowhere.

 I make no secret of the fact that I used to be a marine biologist, and not one of those volunteers at the aquarium, but a bona fide independent researcher at the most prestigious marine laboratory in the world. I am still kind of proud of that, especially because I got a nuclear rejection from the same institute the first time I applied to work there. A year after, they called ME.

 And when I truly got to know the job, I discovered that however much I enjoy rigorous science and being on the cutting edge of empirical knowledge, the rest of it made me want to stick a gun in my mouth. Every subsequent job in the field was a nail in the coffin of that career, until the last, where I was an influence peddler, a whore, but without the benefit of having sex. I found peace in being a lobsterman, the job I had and loved through middle, high schol and my undergrad years, and rediscovered a liking for physical labor on the water, so I went pro at it, and here we are 15 years later.

 But yeah, I got called on being cynical and mean-spirited because I think Earth day is a crock of shit. I went all stream-of-consciousness, however, after seeing the phrase "I consider myself an environmentalist."  When I came to, I had cranked out a wonderfully hateful, mean-spirited and completely accurate rant about the hypocrisy of it all. It was awesome. You should have been there.

 Speaking of something you should have seen, check this out, too. Happened like 5 minutes ago: Here's a tugboat, sitting IN a barge, which is sitting ON a barge, which is being pulled by a TUG, past a nuclear power plant.