Wednesday, August 29, 2018

I've been here too long

I think I'm going to take a little break after this post, recharge my batteries, so to speak.


Things are good, thanks.

           I'm coming up on 10 years in my current position, a 'temporary' job to make ends meet while I worked on other goals and got used to life after fishing for a living.
      I've got skill and experience at a job that I'm pretty content with... but Tankerman is a specialization within the industry that doesn't utilize all the training I had to do and all the experience I've gained over 30+ years of making a paycheck from working on the water.  It pays, and I provide for my family with it. Many, if not most men would be more than satisfied right there. So, bear in mind, I'm not complaining.

 After 10 years of spending too much time at work to pay for putting my personal life in order, it's getting where I want to be, truly. We work to pay for the things we want out of life, and I've started to collect interest finally on all the ideas and projects that come with finding love and building a family. There's less and less reason to work extra and trade time with family for money in the bank beyond what I am obligated to do. My weight is high, my hair is falling out, and I have bad dreams.

 A few months ago, I finally got off my ass and started updating my working credentials, taking classes, upping the tonnage on my captain's license, and renewing and refreshing some basic skills like advanced firefighting, water survival, and the like. I have to wait to go home and raid my records to submit some more shit to the Coast Guard for an Officer-In-Charge-Of-Navigation-Watch rating, one of the newer bullshit hurdles they throw in the way these days, which wasn't necessary before. I'll take care of that when I can.

 I feel a change coming, and I don't know if it will be small or big or what exactly it will encompass. I do know that it's been a while since I had that excited-to-see-what-is-over-the-horizon feeling. A lifetime of learning and something like 25 of my 44 years where I spent more than 270 days a year on a boat. It's probably time to start trying to devote some time to quality of life changes.


Rob said...

Self instituted changes, that has to be one of the tougher things to do. Good luck!

Your talk about the water. I worked with a guy at big box store warehouse, he was in his 60's and still picking cartons & wrapping pallets. He was waiting until he hit 65 for the medicare. This job was for the medical insurance (25% of his pay), he had a good retirement package from when the last warehouse closed.
He wanted to retire, move to the Florida Keys & get a job as a deckhand on a charter fishing boat.
I left there in 2012, I wonder if he made it?

I once remarked to him about having had a job that was so good "they actually paid me to be there". He looked at me and didn't understand, turned out he'd never had a job he really liked, a job that gave him some bounce in the morning and left a smile on his face as he went out the door.

Damn sad I think to have missed that in the first 60 years.

Again, good luck with whatever it is that's coming down the road!

STxAR said...

I have never like the term "Quality of Life". First time I saw it was when some dink left a paper note on the fence of a transmitter site. The flashers were stuck on day mode, and at night, it was like a lightning storm that never ended. How about a phone call to the office? Took a week to see the note...

BUT, I'm coming around to the concept. For me, it's whether to build a bigger shop, or just keep suffering in my cramped, unconditioned one. I'm starting to think QOL may apply here....

You will never regret spending more time with family. It's a tough juggle being the man, but you ain't stoopid. You'll figure it out. I have no doubt about that.