Wednesday, December 5, 2012


Deep thoughts and intense debate are raging across the decks, and loud voices are echoing off the bulkheads here at HAWSEPIPER's Afloat Global HQ/think tank today.

 The question posed:

Which of the two individuals shown below formed the nucleus of awakening adolescence for more men between the  ages 32-44? Was it:

 Miss Tawny Kitaen, the reason MTV worked and why Whitesnake was on it?

Or was it Ron Jeremy, holding the double-edged sword of both hope that a regular guy could succeed in all things, but also the cautionary and vague feeling that as a generation, we really got screwed in the genetic below-the-belt department?

I argue a middle path: the fact that these two images form a cornerstone of 80's teen male sexual gestalt explains a lot about why we're a little off. HOWEVER, this must be contrasted with the emo girl-child psychology of the entitlement generation's men. It's possible that without Ron's Super Mario-esque tutelage of succeeding by sheer force of will where God gave with one hand and took with the other, and awareness that David Coverdale's Sword of Damocles applied to all of us, whether or not there was a redhead absolutely writhing in almost-sheer fabric on the hood of one's dad's car.

 I say that it's a wash. I took from Ron that since I'm at least better looking, though limited to just two legs, I'd probably be OK if I worked as hard as he did. From Tawny, I took away the feeling that girls might be both interesting and intensely dangerous if she got a mind to climb up on the hood of my car. When I got one.


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