Tuesday, June 21, 2016


So I had my medical review for my 4th coast guard license renewal.

 I've got to congratulate the US Coast Guard on making the medical review process even worse than before. Between education requirements and medical review, we're now beholden to the powers that be in a fashion that leaves big-government enthusiasts hot and sweaty and aroused. Seriously, airline pilots go through less shit than we do, and they fly airplanes full of people all day every day. I'm pretty sure that some of the guys I've worked with over the years are actually mentally retarded, and I'm not exaggerating or using hyperbole for once.
    Well, we might have the odd mongoloid among us, but they're the best trained 'tards since Bedlam Asylum realized that they could charge admission to see the patients. Right?

 One time I watched a vetter ask one of these persons who the 'designated person' was.
 Awesome. Seriously awesome. 2 bucks says a vetter asks a cornered window licker who the company security officer is, he can answer. Anyone else asks, or if anything acually happens, the answer is 'ghostbusters.'

 I'm getting off point here.
    I had my medical review.
   The medical review is pretty standard. Make sure I am in overall good health, haven't spontaneously developed color-blindness, can see and hear and lift stuff.

But this happened:
Doc: "Everything looks OK, but your blood pressure is higher than we'd like to see."
Me: "Next time, have someone take my blood pressure BEFORE you roll my marbles around in your hand like Humphrey Bogart in 'The Caine Mutiny."

1 comment:

STxAR said...

Dad was a cop. We went to the vet yearly as well. He spent 30 minutes telling me about his checkup...

Their hearing check consisted of the doc standing behind them and whispering, "Can you hear me?"
The doc got really mad when Dad whispered back, "Yes, I can."

I worked with a guy that wanted to be a helicopter pilot in the ARMY. They ran them 5 miles after breakfast over to the hospital and his bp was too high to be a pilot!!

Good to see the .gov is still on top of things....