Wednesday, March 13, 2013


I got married in the first week of June. We had a month together before I left for a 2 week relief job as chief mate on a cruise ship. A month after coming back from that, I left on a 4 month voyage on my regular tanker. In the almost 5 years we've been married, figure 57 months, I've been gone for about 43 of those. Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife and I know a thing or two about distance and absence and longing and loneliness... but it's always been me who is on the move, even if I've had cause to lament it.

Tomorrow, my lovely wife is leaving for Brazil for a few weeks to care for her mom, who has taken ill. I'm... not taking it as well as I could, to be honest. I'm doing everything I can do as a supportive husband. I'm also trying to hide that I'm dreading this trip very deeply. The timing isn't terrible- I'll end this voyage in about 2 more weeks, and she'll fly home 2 days after I get back myself, and we'll have most of 2 weeks together before I leave again. As far as that goes, it's not bad. But I'm worrying. My wife's going to her home city, but it's still the third world... fact is, my mother in law needs her, and she and I are doing the right thing in sending her down there... but God damn me for a liar if I say I'm happy about it.

 So I don't know. Expect me to be a rage monster. Already today I blew up at a guy at Best Buy, some Arab double parked in Brooklyn (I blew up my modem and had to replace it, necessitating a cross-town ride in my 3-ton truck (Parking is FUN in the Big Apple!), and a tugboat mate from another company who was trying to be helpful but in a too-knowing fashion.   Taking out my frustration on other people, just like a big boy!

 Eh. Just got to get through the next two weeks.

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