Saturday, November 26, 2016

Forever Yours, Literally Hitler

It's been a fun week on the internuts. I'm shedding 'friends' on fecesbook like a dog's fur in springtime what with my shitposting and all. It's been a great distraction in my offtime here as I wind down another tour at HAWSEPIPER's Afloat Global HQ/hostel for indigent mariners.

         Very patient friends from my days as a younger, less relentlessly sane man have been shitposting all over the place, themselves. This political season has really brought about feces-slinging in epic proportions by the left, and that includes my leftist leftover college friends, too.

 It took a little while for someone to summon Hitler at the Republican du jour, but once it got started, Hitler has been one busy dead asshole.

 Comparing a Republican politician to Hitler has enjoyed a time-honored tradition among leftists, turns out, since Hitler was actually still alive.  This is actually a twofer- where people Summon Hitler for political shits and grins, generally they also declare the same person as being fascist. It's sort of like finding douchebags in Starbucks. You can find douchebags and you can find a Starbucks, but generally, once you've identified one, you'll take note of the other being there and mention it.

    In the early days, before Literally Hitler, back when mankind's thinking set were not a bunch of under-educated women who studied Women's Studies and Marx, but have  have never read Euclid and the fathers of Western philosophy, summoning Hitler was done specifically and consciously as a shocking act, rather than so much shit-flinging, which is where it stands today.
     Oh, politically, it's all the same stew, I suppose, but I might be more inclined to be offended by a retired combat veteran who parachuted into Anzio calling me names, rather than some midwit twat whose idea of struggle is leaving comments on Huffpo about LuLuLemon not having stretch pants in dumpy sizes. Someone with no skin in the game calling me names is just a joke, far as I'm concerned, and boy don't that piss 'em off too, when they can't get traction by calling you a name they know is a bad name. The whole point is to shock your opponent into silence, thereby 'winning' your argument because your opponent gives up trying to talk sense to your retarded ass.

        At any rate, although calling someone Hitler-like is actually more powerful than the more pervasive and laughable Literally Hitler of today, it's what we have, so it's what I'll deal with.

    As I mentioned above, summoning Hitler has been carried out since Hitler was a pup. FDR himself, the fatherless cocksucker who opened concentration camps in America to imprison Japanese families during the war, FDR was the father of Literally Hitler. FDR might even be the first Shitposter of legendary fame. At this time, Hitler was still alive and the US was not yet at war with Germany.

      Since Barry Goldwater's failed Presidential run,, every Republican President has enjoyed many fine opportunities to be accused of being Literally Hitler. That's 52 years, HALF A CENTURY, of Literally Hitler.

       So why doesn't this seem to be working well for Allfather Trump?

   I can hear our generators running in my stateroom here at the HQ. I can't actually HEAR them, unless I focus on it, though. It's not that they're quiet. They're not really. I'm just habituated to the white noise. When I go home, the silence of a house with no generator running is shockingly silent, and the ringing in my ears, fish jumping in my pond, and occasional sound of the air handler kicking on are startling.
   It's the same with cries of fascism and Literally Hitler.

 Trump is Literally Hitler. Mittens Romney of the Magic Underwear fame, the man whose role model was Mr. Rogers (PBUH), was Literally Hitler. (Binders Full of Women FTW!). John McCain? Literally Hitler. Bush Jr, Bush Sr? Literally Hitler, Literally Hitler. Hell, Senator Robert Byrd, an ACTUAL KKK member, got in detail about Bush being Literally Hitler, accusing him of being both the man himself AND Herman Goering! Quite a feat, indeed.
       Ronald Reagan was an especially noisome case of Literally Hitler. Reagan was Literally Hitler for getting the US involved in the forever war in Grenada, which no one can find on a map without help. Reagan was accused of being Hitler more than any other president in US history, as were all the members of his cabinet. We effectively reached Peak Hitler to date with President Reagan, but who can say what tomorrow will hold?

Under Reagan, we achieved Peak Hiter

    After Peak Hitler, there was a plateauing and a decrease in incidents of Summoning Hitler, although the practice by no means went away.

So where are we after 50 something years of Literally Hitler?  Not even the most reviled Ronald Reagan (PBUH) declared the 4th reich. No concentration camps since we kicked Democrat FDR's shameful legacy into the shitheap of history where it belongs. No thousand-year-reich, unless you count the 1,000 years of debt proposed by effete manlet Robert Reich's ideas for how to stimulate the economy by euthanizing it.

   So, despite the fact that after 50+ years of flinging the same old feces during their daily 2-minutes' hate, the shit no longer sticks, leftists are still dropping trou in search of ammo for the next handful, regardless of results. I interpret this to mean that there is no feedback loop, and even though summoning Hitler no longer works as anything but a reverse virtue-signal, allowing the rest of us to tune out the noise-maker preemptively, it's not going to stop. Every election will be the final chance to stop Hitler. Again.

 Jesus Christ.
  Well, I assume that under this will continue. And I don't really mind, even if it's a touch grating. It gives me a great warning that I'm wasting my time trying to fish through a sea of flung shit in search of one piece of corn that might hold value. As such, I can antagonize such people with ease by not disguising my contempt for their tired old conversation stoppers. And, honest, when my fecesbook friends list is counting backwards like a space launch countdown, I know that I'm doing God's work, fucking with these people.


Anonymous said...

That was fuckin' awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, you're LITERALLY HITLER!!!11!!1!! I need a safe space!! WAAAAHHHHH!
Hawsepiper,. you're all the Nuremberg defendants rolled into one!!
If we're pissing off & scaring these overgrown two-year-olds, we're apparently doing it right. Hell, it makes me want to go back on Facebook, just to see how many I can cause to hate & revile me, but I've been off it for several years, & just now got the slime off me; I don't feel like getting social media all over me again, or any other social disease.
--Tennessee Budd

HT said...

Lol Paul,Cool Post...I for one don't engage in fakebook or twatter.The cries of racism from the left is merely a attempt to crucify those who refuse to stand in line with their political agenda.Our vote (esp here in NEPA) was a complete repudiation of liberal culture for eight long years.Get home soon Paul,I know how it feels to work over alot and not see your family.I wonder if the liberals know how that feels,got to pay the bills with a shit load of sacrifices on ones self and family.Shit can we say CHANGE!

Anonymous said...

Paul, great post.

Even up here in Canada, I have seen snowflakes taking 'stress' days because of the Trump win.


Anonymous said...

Why would you bait your friends, if they are in fact your friends? Why not have an intelligent conversation, or delete them if you have such lack of respect for them that you would "antagonize" them with "contempt" and "ease"? Why expend such energy, who has time for that? Just hit delete.

Will said...

anony@ 11:59

"Delete" is what the Progressives do on the web. Their name for it: "Reasoned Discourse"(tm).
It is so common on their side that it barely rates a mention elsewhere. It's rather shocking when encountered on a putative non-leftest site.