Catholic Charities can eat a dick

Today is a big day for Catholics like me. The pope's in town. Pretty cool stuff.

    I'm a practicing Catholic. All that stuff that makes more liberal heads spin; mass, confession, holy days of obligation, within the limits of my career choices, anyhow. I try, sometimes successfully, to live according to the catechism of my church. Sometimes I fall short.

      The Catholic church is gigantic, and, even if it was only a fraction as corrupt as any human organization, the fact that it employs millions of people worldwide means that there is going to be corruption, graft, sin. The usual human failings, you know? I'm not an apologist, and I'm not a representative of my church, either. The very public and long-overdue airing of grievances over predator priests, crime, etc, is as necessary to the life of the church as anything else. The disgusting things that happen in their name need to be disinfected via sunlight. But that's not why I'm writing.

 Some of you may know of the group Catholic Charities, the umbrella organization that handles the charitable portion of the church's mission. It's the largest charitable organization in the world by a long shot, and overall, it's more efficiently and fairly run than most. But there remains some confusion, even by fellow Catholics, over what they are. Catholic Charities is a part of the church, and managed separately from many aspects of the church. When you give directly to them, you're not funding lawyers for predator priests or new gold chalices for the sacristy of your local church. You're giving money directly to the organization for charitable purposes. They do great work. Among other things, they also fund more free healthcare than any other group in the world. I tend to give when I can. Pretty much the only groups I'll give any money to are the Disabled American Veterans and Catholic Charities.


     And they do good shit. My dad and my aunt were both raised in orphanages funded by Catholic Charities. So when my aunt passed away, she left a piece of her estate to them, as an acknowledgment, an equal share to what was divided between those to whom she willed her estate's proceeds.

       So why am I inviting Catholic Charities to dine upon the choicest of dongs?  Well, they're not returning any of the damn legal paperwork for my aunt's estate, and it's impacting my mom's quality of life. She was going to use that money to buy hearing aids. My mom's pretty deaf, and generally fragile, and it'd be real nice if she could participate in conversations when people are using their inside voice.
 So, yeah, I'm ashamed to say it, sort of, but Catholic Charities can eat a dick for what they're doing.



    When my brothers and I realized that someone at Catholic Charities of New York dropped the ball, we waited patiently, until the estate lawyer called just to bitch that the pricks not only don't return papers on time, the fuckers wouldn't even return a phone call.

  To which I replied in a restrained, cultured bon mot :  "Well, they can't fuck kids anymore, so now they're finding ways to fuck everyone, I guess."

 Obviously my mom wasn't anywhere nearby when I said that, or she'd get up on a kitchen chair just to go one upside my head.

    Even so, a couple months is a long time to let legal papers sit on your desk. I guess Catholic Charities of New York doesn't want free money, too. I mean, it's not like they're just saying a big fuck you to everyone whose disbursement is on hold while they screw around. Well, yeah, they're definitely saying fuck you to everyone, including my mom, who really wanted to buy those damn hearing aids (2 good ones'll run a couple grand each!). They're also saying fuck you to my deceased aunt, who thought enough of them to include them in her will, but probably didn't picture that they really had no immediate use for her money, or that everyone else who was also in the will would be left hanging in the meanwhile.

 Well, at any rate, it's my goddamned blog, so that's why I'm sharing this with you. If this is how Catholic Charities operates, they can certainly eat a dick. They won't be getting anything more from me for now.