Thursday, August 13, 2015

Dear Maryland: Eat a Dick

Today's invitation to dine upon a dong goes out to the State of Maryland, who for some reason wants my money, and presumably my precious seed, too.

 While I was home a few weeks ago, I got a letter that had been sent to my former residence in Massachusetts, and forwarded to my current residence in south FL. For some reason, the state of Maryland decided that I owed them $5000 for back taxes in 2009.

 I have never lived in Maryland.

           I do work for a company based out of Baltimore, so that's how that happened. I can understand a SNAFU. It's the .gov, after all, where those who shine not so brightly can find a job and a teat to suckle on. No, what pissed me off happened later.

      I called and explained, and the nice lady on the phone said that if I sent them my income tax return from that year, it could get straightened out. I don't love the idea of giving out my tax return to folks who don't need it, but I like spending money even less, so I bitched (of course) and agreed to do so. Then the nice lady mentions that even though I may not have needed to pay the state, I may have to pay a penalty, as I was late responding.

 Well fuck me with a fencepost, but they sent the damn letter to the wrong address. I don't live in MA, I explained, and the lady, who obviously empathized with me, agreed, and said she assumed that it would all get straightened out, but it wasn't something she could fix, and whoever looked at my return would have to make that call.
Pictured: Logo of the Maryland Department of Revenue

 Well, I didn't fuss at her. But I did say that it was insane that I would be expected to provide address change information to a state where I don't even live. Should I contact Arizona, too? I once had a layover there in a flight, and maybe they want a taste too.

 Anyhow, I did cuss once, and apologized for it. I think I said "you know, that's some messed up shit."  And the nice lady agreed, and said they'd do their best to handle it.

 I don't know how all you shoemakers deal with this shit day in day out. There's a reason why I work on the water and away from crap like this on a daily basis. I just don't have the patience.


Anonymous said...

Generally this variety of gov't tax offices running amok happens a lot more often in blue states than red. It's one reason I hesitate to set foot in Oregon, for fear that the instant I do I'll be declared a state resident (except, of course, for tuition purposes) and that they'll try to siphon off me for life afterwards.

JayNola said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JayNola said...

Make sure you're actually dealing with Maryland. My parents, who worked out of Maryland for a couple months a couple years ago, had someone call them who was basically fishing for money. It's possible that it's the, since they're scum and proud of it, but it may not have been.

HT said...

Your just having all kinds of fun this hitch Paul...feel for you. Just when you think its almost time to pack that sea bag and get your butt home, .gov steps in.Now that's truly sad,better man than me. I would probably have said some pretty mid evil things at some point during that conversation with idiots inc.At least we are supposed to have some good weather this weekend, so if you have cruse ship duty... maybe you wont get to stressed trying to tie up to the great white whale.Time to go home Sir!

HT said...

Oh and Paul, I would look into this... Jaynola has a point. Didn't you recently have your Paypal account hacked?

Anonymous said...

My dad had a similar situation. Turns out some illegal was using his SIN in nevada and even though he could prove he work for uncle sam and had never been posted to nevada it took 2 years to get it straightened out.