I swear to God...

 There's a truism in working on the water that if you're waiting on someone or something, the best way to make it happen is to either sit down to eat or go to the bathroom.

 This morning, I'm in the bathroom, and within one minute my cell phone rang, the UHF shore radio beeped for me, and on the far side of the door, there's a tugboat calling to ask me a question on the VHF radio.

 The tugboat had to wait, for the sake of decency and crew retention.