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Now that I've joined the Borg and bought a smartphone, I find that I am probably not taking full advantage of the situation. I already have a GPS in my car, a nice calendar/desktop organizer and a wireless modem for my ridiculously overpowered laptop, which Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife refers to as "Dat tree-tousan dolla pohno matcheen."
Considering that while I'm home, the phone is a hated tool, and while I'm on deck at work it's an explosion hazard, I don't actually carry a cell phone so much as keep one in strategic locations where it won't blow shit up. And I don't play Angry Birds.
Also, I miss my cell phone from 2001. It was smaller, dropped fewer calls, and didn't make my ear ache if I used it for more than 30 seconds. How far we've fallen.
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My Valentine's day present was an e-reader. I can't figure out how to actually make it start at page 1 in the books I've uploaded. I was the kid who could program everyone's VCR. How far we've fallen. Again. I'm on my last actual book book here on board, so eventually I'm going to have to actually sit down with the thing instead of poking eery button then throwing it on my bunk and saying "Fuck this thing!" Rough beast that I am, I guess it's time to crawl towards Bethlehem.
Also, I was a total wiseass with my wife and her Valentine's Day present. Her cousin got one of those Pandora bracelets for Christmas, and my wife, being Brazilian, was immediately a pariah for not having one. How come everything is always my fault? I didn't think she'd like relatively cheap trinkets made of non-precious metals. Anyhow, more power to me, the things ARE pretty cheap, which means an upgrade from Fir to Okume sheathing in the upcoming construction of my soon-to-be-built rowing dory.
But, yeah, I totally effed with her. I told her that I already bought her some decent wine and paid off her Macy's store credit card. She believed me. Giving her the unexpected bracelet was worth being called an unromantic douche for a week.
Also, she hasn't brought up the Macy's card. I really hope she understood that I didn't actually pay it off. Crap. I may not be able to gold-plate the oarlocks.
finally, a woman who appreciates the finest
in trendy pewter trinkets
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Oh, also, if my mother or sister reads this, say nothing to my wife about that last comment. Your future grandchildren depend on it. And my couch is seriously uncomfortable to sleep on. Again.
1 comment:
Paul when I retired I threw my cell phone out the window (reg.cell) of my local gin mill at the party my family and friends had for me. Too the cheers of everyone, they hated my cell phone as it seemed to ring whenever I was hanging out on my time off. Anyway I don't miss it! And it might be in your best interest to tell your wife the truth or pay off the card. She might think that she can go and put more cloths and stuff on it. I know my wife would be running down the road saying CHARGE IT! LOL Good luck
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