Sunday, January 22, 2012

Lazy effer

It's Sunday, which means that when I'm not busy, I'm tidying my space.
With no prospect of going to mass today, as is the cast about 95% of Sundays while I'm at work, I have my little survival ritual. As things worked out, I rolled out of bed to take the watch at 0800, and finished up a cargo discharge in Howland Hook, NY. This left us with an hour's ride over to Brooklyn soon after. While underway, I sorted papers and vacuumed my galley and head.

I'm going to confess here that I have a weird bathroom here at HAWSEPIPER's afloat global HQ and gas'n' guzzle. Oh, shit, by 'head' earlier, I meant bathroom. Not, you know, head head or head. Anyways, my head/laundry has a turd burner.

A turd burner is an electric toilet. By electric toilet, I mean it bakes your biscuits until there is nothing left but sterile powder. It's like a crematorium for last night's steak. Anyhow, once every 2 weeks it's time to clean out the ash pan in the incinerator. This is why we have 2 vacuums. One for the deck and carpets, and one for the ghosts of dinner past. By royal acclaim, the captain on board has dooty duty. This is a distasteful but dramatic way to reinforce the concept that there is no job that is below anyone on a boat- the captain cleans the easy-bake poop oven, so the tankerman can handle periodically washing the fucking windows without any bitchery.
Anyhow, I managed to preddy up the place, although I'll leave it to my # 2 man (heh) to soogie the bulkheads later... soogie (soojee) means wipe down with a cleaning rag, btb. More mariner-speak for you there.
At any rate, we've moored at our new dock in Brooklyn- my employers found asuitable dock to rent located just 2 blocks from our NY HQ dock, so presumably I won't be spending so much lay time in frigging Port Elizabeth NJ, at the back of the ass end of nowhere at a container terminal. I'm hanging out with shore access today... however, it being butt-ass cold and me being lazy, I'm not going ashore between now and 1800 when our next cargo is fixed for. Instead I'm going to murder my inbox and hopefully have time to play a little Duke Nukem Forever.

6 comments:

PISSED said...

ahem... I hope you double, then triple, then quadruple check that the filter is in the shop vac for the doody duty. We've all seen the shit that happens when there is no filter......

Paul, Dammit! said...

I made that mistake once. ONCE.

VMan said...

How is Duke Nukem Forever? I was thinking about checking that out.

Paul, Dammit! said...

It uses the Quake 2.0 engine, which is a little dated, but it's a lot of fun. By far the most foul, sexually inappropriate game ever. As an example, the 'titty city' level requires you to go into a strip club and find a vibrator, snacks and a condom to advance, all of which you must give as gifts to strippers before going back to blowing up aliens.
Also, the greatest one-liner ever is in this game.

Anonymous said...

I've been meaning to comment for a while & this is apropos of nothing... as you're probably aware New York and environs offers the hungry a lot in terms of good wallet-friendly markets.  I've not read that you've ventured to Newark's Ironbound district to pick up any Luso-Brazilian stuff when ashore in Elizabeth.  Dude. And as daunting as it may be Manhattan's Chinatown has okay greengrocers, but Flushing's Korean markets has great produce - keeps well and inexpensive. Just thing outloud..

Paul, Dammit! said...

I get stuck in that about 30% of the time, after I call our dispatcher to say I'm going to get groceries, they call back 30 minutes later to tell me that they're kicking us off the dock. I can't get out of Brooklyn, so I usually go to Fairway market and spend too much money.

I made a point of eating my way through Newark's Portuguese and Brazilian restaurants last summer when I took the fam to NYC. Awesome stuff. I'm going to miss that next time, now that I have to eat bunny food.