So, with things humming along smoothly here on board, and Inappropriately Hot Foreign Wife and The Boy returning to US soil in less than a week, things are looking up.
My wife called tonight to tell me that some of her 60-something first cousins are throwing her a goodbye party over the weekend, and, by 'throwing a party' I mean they're looking for me to buy everything they need to feed an army for 12 hours.
So, being a cheap prick, I told my wife that she can raid the coffers, but has to tell everyone that I'm throwing her a goodbye party, and have hired her many, many cousins to manage the event, and also, the cousins, especially the male ones who fed me moonshine while I was blacked out, have to be referred to as 'my bitches' for the duration of the party.
I'm an awesome husband.
6,000 miles away, and I'm throwing the social event of the season in my wife's city of Burnt Testicle, Brazil.