Halfway day today here in OT exile. I am still on the floating shitbox tetanus factory leased barge we're using. It's still awful here. I usually can find one nice thing to say about any boat or barge I work on. Oh, she's old but solid. Yes, it's got problems but she's safe and clean.
This place has nothing. But so be it. As I discovered last week, if I dwell on the negatives, I'll just start screaming and possibly not stop. So far, still got 10 fingers, 10 toes although of course I immediately got a magnificent case of athlete's foot despite putting enough bleach on the decks to sear my eyes and lungs to well done.
In the intervening days, it's been daily work parties to improve sanitary conditions and livability commensurate with the knowledge that I don't have to come back here except on a volunteer basis, and other than the stagnant standing water that seeps up between the deck tiles nonstop (the shower and I suspect the overhead (roof) are not what they could be), it's as clean as soap, scrubbing and ritual bleaching can make it.
Honestly, it's not pleasant, and the deck machinery is much of a muchness with the rest of this turd, but I'm getting by. The OT is nice anyhow, and it's been busy as hell, so I am not being left to marinate in my own shitty mood. Knowing what I agreed to and why and where I am, a positive attitude is really helping out. I'd be exhausted if I was this much of a ray of fucking sunshine every day though. Sure as shit, I'm burning, if not calories than mental... something, to do this. Spiritual mana? I dunno. I guess I can do what my nature suggests and just wallow in all the negatives, or I can do what I'm doing one more week and cash the next check with a smile.
1 comment:
Saw you on Tim B at Sea's latest Youtube video, where he says nice things about you.
Your time in purgatory is almost up, and if it weren't for bad times, you wouldn't know what good times feel like.
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