Bless the Seven Mad gods of the Sea, for we have been bestowed the rarest of rare gems: a quet weekend alongside a pier that allows shore access.
I've been walking until my legs are sore, enjoying the sights and smells of New York. I've also been able to check off the following 'must see' things one looks for while in The Big Apple:
Down n' out mime? Check.
Sassy Large Black Woman looking directly at my crotch while asking if I've got the time? Check.
Arab child running into traffic, causing car to lock up brakes in a screeching halt? Check. Angry Arab father screaming at car for driving in the road his child desired to dart across? Also check.
Late-30's women with bowl haircuts referring to their awful little dogs as their 'kids?" Oh, mais oui, check.
Panhandler with sneakers which are more expensive than mine? Si.
400lb cop struggling to get out of his cruiser in front of the Italian Ice place? Yah.
2 old Italian guys nose to nose, talking loudly, hands flailing wildly? Check. Also, awesome.
Only thing I missed out on on this morning's stereotype walk was an aggressive guy in a tank top yelling "Hey I'm walking here!" at traffic,
Fucking Florida, man…..
40 minutes ago