Friday, August 15, 2014

In Which I Solve Problems to Everyone's Satisfaction

As you may have heard, there was recent publicity  around an unskilled yet opinionated writer's assertion that women's plumbing supplies (tampons, pads and that sort of thing) should be subsidized by the Gubmint, as they were a basic human right because feelings.

 You can read a more exacting and thoughtful synopsis here.

"We need to move beyond the stigma of “that time of the month” – women’s feminine hygiene products should be free for all, all the time."

 I dunno. This is what I hear. 

 Anyhow, I have a solution. 

  Look at the surface area of the average pad or tampon. Plenty of surface area.   So you sell off advertising space, and using hypoallergenic ink, Stayfree and Co. can write off transport costs, AND IT WON'T COST TAXPAYER DOLLARS to do so. 

 Anyhow, what a shame, to let all that marketable advertising space go to waste. Think about it. Everyone's going to get on board, because it's for the children, or something. 

I can see it now:

"Trust Dr. Scholls"
"Radio Shack: We're still a thing."
"If you can read this, you could be reading COSMO"
"Brought to you by Disney."

Problem solved. 


Tam said...

How about toilet paper? Should the .gov be paying for that? Diapers? Kleenex?

I wouldn't object to the government buying her a sock on the taxpayer dime if she'd put it in her cakehole to stifle the dumb ideas from coming out.

Paul, Dammit! said...

If we're going to subsidize TP, I suggest using either craft paper or 220 wet sandpaper (it's reusable!). Then the users will have the exact same feeling as those who provide the tax base.

Stackz O Magz said...

My father-in-law bought stock in the major Tampon makers and the diaper makers as well way back when. Let's just say he's got more money than what he knows what to do with these days.