So last month I wrote the first half of a 2-part blog post about a young guy on another company's tugboat who we all took an immediate liking to here on the HQ. You can read that here.
The 2nd half of that post was going to be more about the young guy in question, and the process of turning a tugboat Able Seaman into a tankerman, which I thought would be pretty good blog fodder. It's rare for Big E, B, and myself to like anyone, let alone all 3 of us making note of it. I myself thought the stars were in alignment. The kid had signed up for tankerman school, had the sea time sufficient to get a tankerman's ticket, asked questions and was a hard working AB... which is about all the qualifications the Coast Guard cares about. Beyond that... there are tankermen who are assholes, tankermen who are idiots, and tankerman who are pretty good at it.... It's a broad brush as far as qualifications go. 2 of the 3 groups being negative, there are also a lot of sailors who don't like tankermen. In truth, to be good at it, it takes a pedantic mind, a certain comfort with math and seamanship, and a knowledge of the complex rules and regulations governing hazardous cargo storage, care and movements... But another truth is that you don't have to be good at the job to be adequate at the job. There are plenty of slow tankerman whose lips move when they read. They're the labor force, the helpers, the 2nd men, able to function and follow orders by making the job a series of repetitive tasks to be carried out sequentially.
I call it 'The Retard Circus" because that's what it resembles. Me? I guess I'm a ringmaster. I'm certainly not above the circus. I'm right there in it.
But yeah, the kid... sigh. Boy... that didn't work out.
The kid is young, high energy, likeable and volatile. Full of piss and vinegar, and eager to learn, a new tankerman being paid about double what an AB gets paid. The kid was already spending those checks to build his grown up life in his mind. Motivated.
We had his tugboat the other day, first time I've seen him in 5-6 weeks,and I know he went home in that time, so when he came aboard, I asked him if his application to my company was submitted.
The dumb fuck put an application in, and like half the fucking idiots under 30 do now, he failed the goddam piss test.
It's one thing to get nailed in a random, another to willingly take a VOLUNTARY piss test, KNOWING you should wait a month because you're dirty.
I hate weed, and most weed smokers, not because I am particularly tight-laced, but because I have yet to be around someone high who isn't so fucking stupified to deal with that it make me want to drown them in a toilet rather than listen to them or pretend I'm not bored out of my fucking gourd by dealing with their idiot asses.
I learned as a younger man to keep that opinion to myself, especially around high people. I guess it's unsettling for baked individuals to find out that I'm not really listening to them so much as fantasizing about harming them when they talk at me. Oddly enough, I'm OK with drunks. I was a bouncer for a while; I speak the lingo and can usually manage to make an unruly drunk affable and compliant using bonhomie and goodwill rather than bumrushing them.
But yeah, I'm wicked disappointed in the kid. Yes, there is a terrible tankerman shortage, but among out ranks, there's no shortage of retarded tankermen, the short-bus seat warmers valued for their heartbeat and ability to turn groceries into feces. The shortage we're facing is that of people who can say no to themselves and follow the fucking rules... and really, if two of the rules are " 1) Don't do drugs. and 2) Don't do anything to blow us up because we can blow up" , a man who won't follow one rule can't be expected to follow the other rule.
That's a good example of what happens when you don't follow the rules. I have no urge to be sleeping in my bunk and being woken up by St. Peter telling me it's time to talk. I am grateful that none of us on the HQ vouched for Cheech and Chong here.
What a shame.
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