1). Fame! Recognition! A management-level TWIC administrator contacted me today. Called me, in fact, having read my last blog post but one, where I invited the TWIC program administrator, Morpho Trust, to eat a dick in the comments section. I wish I had been slightly more on my game but I was dozing off, having gone off watch shortly before, and I was also slightly abashed, as being called and talking about my blog post to a total stranger made me very aware of how critical I can be in my online persona. Not that I'm a cherub in person, but I actually do make a point to try to keep conflict to a minimum. Anyways, to my stalker who offered to assist in helping me with my TWIC issues, I appreciate it very much- more than you know, seeing you go that extra step. I hope you successfully implement my suggestion to pressure Morpho Trust to up their staffing to more appropriate levels so that their offices don't look like a bad night at the Kabul ER, or, barring that, implement my other suggestion, and, indeed, encourage morpho trust to eat a dick. Regardless, thanks for thinking of me and please don't make a windchime out of my genitals if you really do decide to stalk me.
2). News!
On a more serious issue, Ron Jeremy had heart surgery today. I'm sure that you'll join me in praying for his full recovery. As the most successful and least-appreciated sex educator in the history of the human race, Here's hoping that Ron is up and about again soon.
Dear Sir:
ReplyDeleteI heard your capt (now back in the Carribean) was thinking of starting a maritime public relations firm with you. I'd like to be the first to applaud you on this wicked brilliant idea, and would like to offer to create your corporate logo and letterhead.
All you need now is a good lawyer, clients (in that order) and you are good to go.
Hang and shine that shingle!
respectfully yours,
your hopeful Art Department